he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
