forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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