I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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