I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
