Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
