in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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