Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
