Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
