he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
