Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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