My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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