thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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