I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
