So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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