im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
