my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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