I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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