you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dicks are not precious.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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