Heybabeimwearingurpanties
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
