No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
