This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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