What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
