Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
