dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wish my penis had a tongue
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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