windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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