Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
