Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
