New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
