I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
