Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
