Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
