Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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