She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just had sex bonerless
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize