You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
