Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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