This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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