I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
