lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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