I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
