There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
