stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
