My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
my sisters under your porch take her home
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
