Screwed.edu
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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