Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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