if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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