Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
