She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
