Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
