dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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