I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Panties = found
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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