oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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