Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
