Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize