i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
