Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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