Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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