Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
