So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
