There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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