sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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