my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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