So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
