covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
