East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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