I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
