so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
