I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize