I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
