how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
