I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
