i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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